While I can’t manage to jot down a formulated piece, there are numerous words mingling over my thoughts never letting me for a moment of peace.
Just putting out what I have got in:
Politics: a tool, a sword or a sophisticated intangible machine for breeding your own interests legibly while pressing down all the other voices, be of truth or ill. Everything is legal and right that benefits you (the giants, the capitalists, ideologists or capitalists) and should go to hell all that’s against the investment plans of the authorities. What you say is freedom of speech. The same will be dishonesty of outlawed comments if from the opponents. Its playground is another fake word—Democracy. To become a leader of a democratic system, you need piles of certain currency, heart of stone to make sure you never weep for any oppressed human fellow whose oppression is benefiting your interests. No doubt, Government and Social System exist at their best in Democracy but leaders always are chosen from the worst members of the society.
Pakistan: confused from the birthday and getting worse as getting older. The public lives in luxuries—either material or spiritual—satisfied with whatever is happening around with the youth focused on love matters and Indian movies and trying to solve the daily affairs of life by daydreaming and reveries. The leaders have been playing the Afghan Buz-Kashi game for too long now. Products: no new ideologies produced, just copied. The public following and being controlled by the foreigners would put the country at fire by any anonymous call which could fuel their so-called Islamic beliefs or the hell of the provincial imbalance of their fundamental rights distributed by the Federal Government. Every other unqualified is a leader to a numb community and every other of the disqualified infamous political/ religious leaders dreams of himself sitting on Zardari’s—the dragon—seat each night they go to bed after having committed their respective part of crimes for the daily hours.
Philosophers: do you see them around? I don’t. Oh ya! They’re either too busy in Academies, conferences, their reporting to media channels or in criticizing each other’s faith. I have been lately seeing them focused on measuring water with the Standard Unit of kilogram—Islam with Materialistic Philosophy. They’ve always been proud of calling for humanity and they have been always true. How? They want humanistic scales in the World, but, for them, only developed countries are included in the world circle—Iraq and Afghanistan are the two alien planets to be supplying Western interests. So, no problem how many germs—Afghans or Iraqis—are getting killed each day, they don’t care about us.
Palestine: more confused than Pakistan’s Kashmir. Israel and India offers better economical prosperity but snatches the identity; most have chosen the former.
Asia’s Economic BOOST: What is the reason that a single member is getting fatter and fatter while others are the vice versa? The fatter is snatching the bread. Alas for Philippine, Indonesia and other smaller gigs in the region. Last year I was in Bangkok, Thailand the night before the New Year. I saw a high tower decorated tower which read: Long live the Queen, Happy New Year; while down on the ground, just below the tower, I saw the nation poorer than any Afghan living in Afghanistan. I saw much and guessed out that the nations economy is based mainly on Prostitute business. Malaysia is prosperous economically, named as Islamic country but Islam is what rarely exists there. Their economy is fresh apples ripen for the capitalists who are this time Chinese.
History: A tablet good for nothing. What you study in it is accident not pride or honor—that’s how we’re concepting it.
Arab: are they waking? Yes, waking to sleep for a longer time. I see no stronghold of any ideological system in them; they’re just prisoners who escaped school to battle ground.
Iran: can you rule a country by focusing public mentality on shouting slogans against your enemies? Can you justify the poverty and injustice towards public with illustrations of how bravely you’re fighting with the enemies? If you can, then certainly Iran has a great Monarch. In Iran died a man after years of suffering the disgust of House-siege—Ayatollah Muntaziri. I don’t care what others think of him, but he could have been the only eloquent individual who could save the Iranian Revolution in its better prospects. I saw his books online and what my point became stronger to myself that Iranian regime will be broken from inside and not external forces. All Muntaziri says is about internal matters and contemporary issues relating to Women Right, Legal Issues and Rebellion revolutions taking place in response to the Cruel Monarchism who believes: all is well that my seat is save. He is one of the biggest critics of the Iranian governmental and political system and of policies it has or is implementing upon its public. Iran’s internal revolt is more dangerous than external enemies. Iranians, who threw Shah Raza for an Islamic Cause, are starting to hate Islam not realizing that what the current regime is showing the duplicate shape of Khilafat’s post during and after Karbala’s Incident.
To be continued…
You are certainly busier than to think of matters in abstract. You are more engaged in practical life and struggle than giving time to Self Realization topics and discussing the factors of life in more elusive terms. But is busy-ness, I may term it so, enough for leading the life ahead? And Is our only goal to lead the life ahead?
I don’t know the answers, don’t know if I am asking the right questions.
But what’s certain is that you have to take some time out; out of routine, out of busy-ness, out of your present frame and convince yourself to think of nothing or nothingness. That’s what I want to say; think of nothing, or just term it anyway you wish. And that nothingness settles you to thinking about the only world of truth, YOURSELF.
Nobody has a good perception about the word, Prison, but I do. Though here, inside the prison, the living standard is a free five star hotel package, but we’re deprived of freedom and that makes it a prison. 24/ 7 we’re locked in an area of 600 square meter double story building with its rather small premises. No doubt, there is no joy like being free.
There always exists the negative in life’s affairs but we should take up the positive ones and improve them to our best. Imprisonment has stolen much of the material accomplishments which I could have made otherwise but, nevertheless, has gifted me with a deep insight into self and the world. Inside here I have found myself another being. I have accomplished elusive matters I was never able to before. For the first time in my life, I have understood the depths of Iqbal’s poetry, studied Afghanistan’s history partially but enough, understood the fundamental philosophy (whys and why nots) of my religion, accomplished to comprehend the Tafseel of many chapters of the Holy book. The last six and a half month, I have discovered the seriousness of the matters which I couldn’t at any University class. I have, for the first time, skimmed a little of history of the English Literature, completed reading 3 novels so far and glimpsed many others, completed some plays of Shakespeare along with critical and literature notes.
I never understood philosophy, not even now. I studied great notes on it here and now familiar with the basics as is enough for myself. I follow the daily news and opinions; I have studied some chapters of sociology and political science. Only now do I understand the importance of studying economics which I never knew back there in Quetta.
The list will go on as long as I keep digging the matter.
As many young people in Quetta, my mind was the dark cave of confusions, contradictions and elusive matters. I was never satisfied with anything. On analyzing my recent past, I realize all that I suffered had been due to lack of belief and hectic life style. No doubt that I was busy and this indulgence of mine kept me at the surface-level-understanding of life matters. It never let my thoughts penetrate some deeper into the question ‘what really my life is meant to be?’ All I was doing was managing between the daily appointments of everyday life. I made good assignments for Uni-classes in haste, but I never got the time to sit aside and thing of the topics critically. I taught my students some grammar points but it was just to fulfill the syllabus. I never thought of why at all I had been teaching. Never did I think about how helpful the language can be to us. Actually, there was no time to think. The daily 24 hours were barely enough to fulfill your tasks, not for to think the logic of the tasks.
But now things are more certain for me. I am not as confused as used to be. I have to manage my time, control my emotions, desires, wishes and actions. The changes I feel are immense. I even have started dealing differently now with people, it’s has grown better. I remember the first days here, I’m not the same person anymore, I’m sure.
I remember my friend quoted, ‘life’s half past by the time we know what it means and the other half struggling for it.’
Shortly, I feel like I had been crumbling down there in the crowd all the past years while, now, I feel like having a satellite-eye on the matters of life. To me the same world has changed into something new. The last six and a half month, I have discovered the seriousness of the matters which I couldn’t at any University class.
Whether these are facts or my illusions, I owe them to isolation in this Prison. Oh! I hate being here; want to get out of this hell.
I don’t know what to write next or how to conclude this piece. My ideas presented may be vague. It’s because still I don’t know how to bring my thoughts into words. But hope you find something for yourself in it.